In a time when we most schools are striving to engage families in the educational life of their child, and create stronger bonds in the circle of support for students, one school has apparently decided to discourage student-family-school connections.
Justin Denney, a senior at Bonny Eagle High School in Maine, took a bow and blew a kiss to his family as he walked across stage at graduation ceremonies. Suzanne Lukas, the district superintendent who was presenting diplomas at the ceremony, sent Denney back to his seat - without his diploma!
It's been a long time since I graduated from high school, but things haven't changed that much. It's still the culimination of 13 years of work by families and students a like. It is still a milestone to be celebated. And it still involves teens, eager for a taste of "freedom." At times, the exuberance overflows. I've never been to a graduation ceremony at any level where it didn't happen.
If Denney's celebratory actions had created health or safety risks, we would understand the school stepping in to stop the action and mitigate the risks. But here's a student who, in a moment of joy turns and shows some appreciation to the family members who helped him reach this milestone - and for that breach of decorum he was denied a diploma!
Research has been telling us for more than 20 years that engaging families in the educational life of a child makes it much more likely a child will graduate from high school. Schools who are working to create greater engagment ARE seeing graduations rates rise. In Athens, Tennessee, from 75 percent to nearly 90 percent. In Marietta, Georgia, from 65 percent to more than 78 percent. In Granger, Washington, from less than 50 pecent to more than 90 percent. These high schools are creating engaged learning communities - making families full partners in creating success for students... and they EXPECT them to celebrate together just as they have worked together to reach the goal.
When asked later about the incident involving Denney, Lukas said "If a student doesn't adhere to the expectations, then the consequences are clearly spelled out."
In the end, the problem for Justin Denney and Bonny Eagle High School might be the expectations. Most high schools don't expect families to be very involved. Many high schools like Bonny Eagle only want the parent's checkbook - for athletic boosters, band boosters, yearbooks, and yes, even graduation invitations and cap and gown. Denney's family didn't meet these expectations - they WERE involved in meaningful ways, and were eager to celebrate with him.
Most schools expect that certain students will not succeed. Perhaps Denney was one of those students who was written off years ago... and his reaching graduation didn't meet the expectations for him.
And who would have expected a teenager to celebrate the accomplishment by demonstrating affection for his family? How very grateful of him! How very un-teen-like of him! That certainly doesn't meet the expectations regarding teenage behavior.
You earned the diploma Justin Denney. You don't need the piece of paper in the fancy cardboard cover to be a graduate. Use Suzanne Lukas as motivation, and go write your success story with the help of your family.
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